Anxiety ADHD Overwhelmed?

So tired, went to bed at 8:30, woke up every couple of hours and read to fall asleep. Up at @ 7:30 AM achey and tired. Dranke 2 double lattes, ate banana and rye with cheese. Overcome with anxiety, so went for a short walk. When I got home, the anxiety and grief were even more pronounced. When I exercise, I stop and just cry. If I go to yoga or guided prayer, I often have spontaneous tears. I hate this lifestyle. I avoid exercise, and can't understand the grief anxiety when I DO exercise. This is decades old. How to change? Trying harder--performance (climb mountains, XC, overtime working hours, counseling) don't make me successful or peaceful. Went off ADHD meds about 2 months ago, after about 18 months of trying different combinations...I'm pooped, walking in grief, staving (barely) off desperate. Why do I just stop and cry in the middle of a hike or jog (I cannot go on without just a total breakdown). Alone I can just cry, with friends, I have to stifle this. What will help ME be at peace with ME? Why do I just break down, even during EXERCISE?